HANDBAG WATCH: a thorough, scientific survey of the handbags seen in 53 minutes at Frieze NY

*****HANDBAG WATCH******

+++A thorough and scientific survey+++

<<<<Of handbags>>>>

===Literally===

OMG let’s do a HANDBAG WATCH!

At Frieze NY!

Starting.. NOW!

[53 minutes later]

OK…. STOP!

Count them.

Please.

THE RESULTS OF HANDBAG WATCH AT FRIEZE ART FAIR NY

HERMÈS: 21. [Mostly Birkins. Often gangs of women, all with Birkins. Hermès was everywhere at Frieze. Everywhere]

CÉLINE: 16 [It almost seemed like Cèline would overtake Hermès. More diversity in styles too. But Hermès beat them. Sorry Céline!]

CHANEL: 13 [Though one of them looked fake so possibly 12]

PRADA: 7

LOUIS VUITTON: 7

And absolutely no LV Yayoi Kusama bags.

Not a single one.

Nada.

ISSEY MIKAKE: 7

STOP…

Recount…

SEVEN?

No.

Count again.

OK.

Continue.

ISSEY MIYAKE: 7

NO…

But yes…

Frieze was full of them.

Those funny tessellated triangle bags.

And each one was a different shape, so it wasn’t like I kept bumping into the same woman.

Most were carried by ladies d’un certain age.

Obviously.

And most were in black.

But wait!

What’s this?

A younger woman.

With one in yellow.

*shudder*

OK.

Continue.

BOTTEGA VENETA: 6

GOYARD: 4

Isn’t it funny how boring Goyard looks now?

So boring.

Move on.

GIVENCHY: 3

SAINT LAURENT: 2

WHAT WHAT WHAT?

YES YES YES!

Saint Laurents at Frieze already.

One woman with a Duffel.

One woman with a Betty.

Saint Laurent!

Oh but wait.

What’s that over there?

Ohgod.

One of those old YSL bags that look like the bag of bagpipes.

So that cancels out one of the new Saint Laurents.

New score please.

SAINT LAURENT: 1

BALENCIAGA: 2

OMG that’s a low score for Balenciaga…

OMG!

Shocking…

What else?

PROENZA SCHOULER: 2

MARNI: 1

GUCCI: 1

And…

A whole heap of other ugly I didn’t even take note of.

END OF HANDBAG WATCH!

But wait…

What about men?

MEN’S HANDBAG WATCH!

BOTTEGA VENETA: 2

PRADA: 2

LOUIS VUITTON: 2

Oh.

Not really that many.

Most of the men there were bankers. Suits. Loud voices. No bag.

Men that had bags mostly had cloth bags.

Oh well.

What’s that though?

OMG!

IT’S LITERALLY HAPPENING!

A MAN IS WEARING A BELT WITH A BIG DOUBLE G BUCKLE!

GUCCI BELTS STILL EXIST!

OMG!